"The Bell Family Hike"

Bell family, don't be confused. I am sure you are asking yourself , "when did we go on a family hike?" No, we haven't, this is just what Rex and Lucy called the "Bell Family Vacation" the whole time we were gearing up for it. They would say constantly, "when are we going on the Bell family hike , mom?" or "when we are on the Bell family hike...we can" , etc, etc. We really couldn't figure it out. Anyway.......

A good few weeks ago, we went on a Bell family trip up to Wolf Creek and had a great time. This was the first time in quite a while that all of Ryan's siblings and their kids has been together,and it was great to see everyone. We rented a boat and water skied and tubed. Rex and Lucy had their first ride on a ski boat, and their first ride on a tube behind the boat which was hysterical. Rex rode with Abby and smiled from ear to ear the entire ride...it was really cute to see how happy he was. I rode with Lucy, and well this ride went quite differently than Rex and Abby's. She mostly cried and yelled to slow down the whole time. Oh well, I am glad we pushed her and made her at least try it. We had a lot of down time swimming and shmoozing...which is what the Bell's do best. It was a great time. Ryan has been so super busy at work that we are learning that vacations aren't just a extra nice thing, they are a MUST. They are really necessary for our family to actually have some time together lately. So we cherish each one. Right as soon as we got home, literally Sunday night he was back to work and traveling two days later. We hope August is a little more relaxed for him than June and July have been.

For some reason we didn't take hardly any pictures of this event. Not really like us, but these are all we have to show for "The Bell family hike". Very poor quality , I know.Lucy having her sand time. She is the best at just playing in the sand for hours and mostly singing to herself the whole time.Here is Molly trying to take a nap in her stroller at Pineview. You can't really see it well, but she is actually turned around on her tummy trying to push her way down and out of the stroller. She is strong and ambitious to say the least.

Here are some talent show highlights:

Nate and Rex doing a star wars/lightsaber fight

Anna showed her great talent in creativity by changing basic clothing into really cute, stylish ones. She also made this darling little door hanger for Lucy. Abby doing a darling, very creative dance.

A good time had by all!!

Growing

I returned from a business trip a few weeks ago to find that my son had grown some while I was gone. He looked bigger. I told him it made me sad, and asked him to please stop.

He said "I can't." Then, sensing a teaching opportunity, he gave me a sad, sympathetic smile and said, pausing between each word, "Dad, Growing is life."

* * * * *

On another business trip this week, I received a report that my son, soccer-lover extraordinaire, had absolutely refused to go to day 1 of soccer camp. 'Too many kids;' 'I can practice in my back yard;' 'they don't even play real games there': it was scary.

On the morning of day 2, I called him. "Rex, are you going to go to soccer camp today?" "I don't know, too many kids, they don't even play real games there . . . etc."

"Rex, what did you tell me about growing a while ago?"

pause.

"Growing is life."

"That's right, Rex. And how do we grow?"

"Exercise?"

"Yep. We challenge ourselves, right?"

"Yes. We have to do hard things."

"That's right. Do you want to grow?"

"Yes."

"Because growing is life, right?"

"Yes."

"Can you challenge yourself and go to soccer camp today? If you do, you will grow."

"Okay. I can."

And he did.

I woke up in my own bed the morning of day 3. Rex crawled into bed and cuddled with me for a while. Then Macy told him to go up and get ready for soccer camp. He jumped out of our bed, ran upstairs, and got ready. His ride had picked him up before I was out of bed.

Rex had done some more growing while I was gone.

This time I didn't ask him to stop.



*Okay, to be honest, Rex's change in attitude might have had something to do with his mom's patient encouragement, her accompanying him to soccer camp and staying the whole time, her wise marshaling of a few good buddies to go along with him, and the many conversations they had about it while I was off on my own adventures. But what are those things compared to a two-minute phone call from a distant dad?

"New York is Always a Good Idea"

view from the Met




Erin and I in the cab right after the red eye...I don't think I will ever do that again. As you can see we are a little out of it.

Our hotel

Look at these amazing flowers in the Waldorf. They are real!!!

So I just returned from a girl trip to the Big Apple. We had such a good time, and the best part is I acquired three new friends. Erin invited me to go with her friends from Portland (kind of a 30th birthday celebration New York style), and of course I never pass up an opportunity to go to New York. Theses girls were so sweet and easy going. We made fast friends, and then had a whirlwind weekend of non-stop fun. With the exception of the humidity and the heat it was a perfect get-a-way. I have to say the things I was most excited about upon going this time around were:

#1.Seeing my sister Ali

#2. Magnolia's Banana pudding

#3. Breakfast at Norma's

#4. The walk across the Brooklyn Bridge to Grimaldi's, which is my all time fav (thank you Davis!).

I got to do all of this and much, much more. Of course tons of shopping, eating cupcakes, chatting until all hours even though we were exhausted, Statton Island Ferry, Ground Zero, Grimaldi's Pizza, Patsy's Pizza, Carnegie Deli, seeing an amazing superhero/Fashion exhibit at The MET, and much more. As you can see I am a food nut when it comes to New York...they just have the best of everything. I love it!! Ali and I also met Davis and his cute girlfriend Melissa for dinner at a fun spot in Chelsea, and then again we all met Davis and Melissa at Patsy's the next day after church. It was constant walking and fun. Thank you Ali for being a great host and tour guide. It was fun to see her in her element there, the Conde Naste building where she works, and to mostly see her, you know, "living the dream" in NYC. Here some pics from our trip!!

At Norma's for breakfast. See amazing food below. The presentation alone is worth the trip.

At the Met

Below are pictures of The Brooklyn Bridge. I love this tourist attraction. The trip to Grimaldi's is definitely worth it, but I love the walk across the bridge for the view of New York's skyline and the bridge itself is so cool too.

Davis , Melissa, and the infamous scootsie also "living the dream" (the girls all agreed that they were the cutest couple ever!)

And of course how could we miss Serendipity?


Thanks to Nancy, Phoebe, and Jen for being such great travel companions, and for making this such a fun trip for me. We will have to plan another one in the future.
Happy 30th to Erin! Thanks for being the travel agent behind this little adventure. You did a great job! You are the best!

A huge shout out to my husband , mother , and mother-in-law for helping with my kids so I could do this. I heard from a good number of people at church that Ryan handled the three kiddos so well, and that their hair and outfits were looking great too. He is amazing as usual. Thanks Ry!

New Pics

My friend Amanda took these darling photos of Molly. She did such a great job, and even made it easy by coming to my home to do it. I am so happy with them. It kind of shook me up how old my little girl is.

How am I going to decide which of these to order? Maybe all of them!















Another photographer came to Lucy's dance class and took some photos of the class. She did some of the individual kids too. I also can't believe how old little Lucy looks!

Family Ties

So I have been thinking lately about what a supportive family I have, and how living so close to a great number of our family we always have someone to be there for each great event and to help out whenever needed too. I think I take it for granted sometimes. Yesterday was a day of all days around here. And from the beginning to the end we all supported each other, well mostly people supported us, but I was so grateful by the end of the day.

First of all it was mine and Ryan's Eighth Anniversary!! I really can't believe it myself. How time flies, and here we are with 3 kids and so busy with our little lives. Sometimes I feel like Ryan and I pass in the night. Each day that goes by we chat for a bit at dinner, and then usually before we go to bed, but from Ryan working late occasionally, to Young Women's night, Ryan's calling, to kids stuff (and we don't even have older kids...I can't imagine how crazy it is going to become), to house and yard we really don't have a lot of down time to just sit and chat unless we go out on a date. Often we do that with friends, which we love, but you know that isn't usually Ryan/Macy quality time. Anyway, that is a long way of saying it is a rare thing for us just to be "us".

Well, we had a quite an Anniversary day. The morning rolled in with Rex's last soccer game of the season, for sure the most important thing in this household. Let's face it, almost anything Rex is doing is the most important thing in all of our lives. He takes everything he is doing so seriously, and has been talking about it (and praying about it) and practicing all week. Let's just say he was totally pumped! So this is where all of our support starts. We had Grandma and Grandpa Bell there cheering him on, Oma and Pop Pop, and Randy and Ikey there to see Rex play. Rex told me on the way over he was sad and nervous. I asked him "why?" He replied, " Sad because it is my last game and nervous because I just know the other team is going to win." The intensity in this kid is amazing. But the other team did not win. Rex was completely on his game and scored 4 goals (by far his best performance, suspiciously timed for the presence of so many supporters!). I can't remember the final score, but he was happy!




Rex takes a shot on goal from Ryan on Vimeo.


Then on to Lucy's ballet/tap recital. Miss Julie (Lucy's dance teacher) was in rare form telling the story of Mary Poppins in her tutu, and all these darling little girls would run up for their number. It is always quite the experience. You could just tell Lucy was having so much fun though, and that makes it all worth it. Grandma and Grandpa helped Ryan in the yard, and then stayed on to see Lucy perform too. Oma and my sister Molly were there too, and of course the stalwart supporter, Ikey was on the front row. I loved watching Rex there supporting Lucy, and cheering for her. Lucy is Rex's biggest cheerleader every Saturday for his games, and I could tell how much it means to Lucy to have him there to also cheer her on. On both ends I think this is so good for siblings. It was a ball to see Lucy dancing and tapping. I love seeing my kids in their elements...it always makes for a great day for me too.


Lucy in the zone (before the recital began) from Ryan on Vimeo.






Spoonful of Sugar (Part I) from Ryan on Vimeo.


Spoonful of Sugar, Part II from Ryan on Vimeo.





Is this sounding like such a romantic day so far?? Well it does get better. After the recital my mom helped us out by taking Rex and Lucy up to her house to swim and sleep over so Ryan and I could go out that night for our anniversary. I have to say it was the most amazing afternoon. You don't realize how little down time you get on a Saturday until you actually have no one around and you can do whatever you want. We love our little life and love our weekends together as a family, but yesterday was amazing. We both decided not to be productive and took naps, read, watched the food network (I love weekend Food network!)...it was a dream. Molly slept the whole afternoon. It had been ages since we just had an afternoon to do absolutely nothing. Then we went to gateway to do a little shopping and then came home to get ready, feed molly dinner, and take her over to Aunt Molly's to lay her down so we could head out. The support we got from morning until night was amazing. What would we do without all of these amazing people around to show up to all of our trivial little happenings and then to create a night for us to just do something as simple as go out to dinner?

It was the perfect night weather-wise, and we had a reservation on the patio at Em's on Capitol Hill. Then off to the worst movie of all time, ok I guess the day can't be completely perfect. Anyway, it was the perfect day for me. Going to my kids' big events. And then having a day with just Ryan , to just be Macy and Ryan again, which is rare. It was so nice. So, a huge thanks to all of our supporters and happy 8th to us!!!

Human Rights: It's Fundamental

I've locked horns with a few of you regarding my take on the plight of the Texas Fundamentalists. I'm sorry if I'm out there on this, but I just can't let this thing go down without attempting a more articulate defense.

I posted a link on the sidebar the other day that I think does a lot of the talking for me. The link leads to a story published in the Salt Lake Tribune a few weeks ago, which highlighted some of the travails of the mothers and children detained by the State of Texas. Of most interest to me were 11 statements written by Texas mental health professionals who had been invited to work with, console, and counsel with the mothers and children during their detention (the main story mentions 9 statements, but I count 11 on the sidebar). These 11 unbiased professionals showed up at the behest of the Texas Child Protective Services (CPS) authorities handling the detention. They spent a few days working with the detainees, often operating as mediators between them and their captors. Every one of the Mental Health Service (MHS) workers who made a statement left feeling with some level of outrage at the treatment of the FLDS women and children. And leave they did- at the behest of the CPS authorities, who one MHS counsellor said accused them of being "too compassionate" with the captives.

The written statements detail a scene that calls to mind the old Stanford psychology experiments, where students were divided into prisoners and prison-keepers and within a few days began acting the part with surprising cruelty. (Note: As I mention some of the circumstances imposed on them, please ask yourself what each of these deprivations has to do with the stated purpose of protecting post-pubescent girls from the imminent threat of underage marriage.) The detainees arrived happy, healthy, and lively. They left sickly, malnourished, scared, scarred. Cell phones were confiscated. Phone calls were not allowed. Adolescents were kept in conditions bordering on solitary confinement, kept from any contact with their families or the outside world. When those in one group were spotted trying to wave to those in another sequestered group, they were told to stop and threatened with arrest. Whenever a mother sought some amenity or comfort for herself or her family, she was reminded that she was a guest there, and that any instigating would be met with instant removal from the camp- meaning, she would be separated from her children. All were forced to sleep in halls with the lights on 24 hours a day. Children were kept indoors 23 hours of each day. One 3 year old wandered around asking for someone to rock him, once his mother had been taken. Several CPS professionals watched disinterested without any attempt to help. The list goes on and on.

I invite you to read these 11 statements. If they don't move you close to tears, call your doctor. I repeat my previous question: what does any of this have to do with the State's stated purpose of protecting post-pubescent girls from being forced into underage marriage? Let us assume (as I think most of us believe) that non-consensual underage marriages are being pushed on young teen girls among the FLDS community. Let us also agree (though some may not) that this is unqualifiedly a bad thing. Can anyone make a good faith argument that the means employed by the Texas CPS were well-tailored to the abuse the seek to prevent?

What have any of these mothers been accused of? Perhaps being accomplices to the underage marriages? Maybe. But when no men are allowed access to the children, how can the mothers be treated as such villainous suspects? Further, given that the only accusations on record (all of them based on double and triple hearsay, and the most significant ones based on tips from a known fake) focus on the men, why remove all women and children from their homes, rather than simply evacuating the men? Or better yet, why not remove only those girls near the age at which underage marriage has become a possibility?

The best argument I've heard against this is that the latter method would give time for the FLDS to indoctrinate their children to want underage marriage. It's a fair concern, but the punishment doesn't fit the crime. Option A is to let a girl grow up wanting underage marriage and then to remove her from her parents at age 11, put her in the custody of the state and then educate her until she's 18. Option B is to deny the parents the right to even know that child from her birth on, in order to avoid the chance that she'll grow up believing what they believe. Is there even any question which of these is more humane? Don't we realize that an American government is now removing children from their parents based not on an imminent harm, but on a belief that the child may come to hold, which may some day become harmful? This is the very opposite of imminent.

The State of Texas has broken up hundreds of families based on a whimsical, flimsy story by one person with an ax to grind, displaying a huge abundance of martial resources and a tragic dearth of logistical and psychological ones. The State can afford a tank and helicopters to march into this peaceful compound, but can't afford a decent place to put the people it has captured. Despite its clear inability to rise to the logistical challenge it created for itself, it refused to admit the vast overbreadth of its action and simply let most of its detainees go. It insists at every moment that it is interested only in the welfare of the children, yet it has forced them through a nearly two months long ordeal that will certainly mark them for life.

If you have kids, picture them living in the conditions described in those statements and tell me how it would affect you, and them. Picture them carted away from you because someone in your community is accused of doing something to a completely different child of a different age and position. Picture delivering a baby only to have it immediately removed from you while you remain in your hospital bed, even though no one's ever accused you of doing anything wrong. Then tell me how you'd tolerate that kind of treatment. And how would you estimate the damage to your kids' psyches? I have some of the most secure, well-adjusted kids in the world, but I shudder to think what would become of them if forced through this ugly process by a state that clearly cares only about covering its own mistakes.

So, I ask you, gentle readers, what am I missing? Several of you have at least tepidly defended this action. I am interested to know what good defenses can be made.

UPDATE: Free at Last!

Recent Quotes

In the middle of sacrament meeting, Rex looks up from his action figures, and says, with kind of a resigned, world-weary tone: "Dad, church is tiring, but it's the best thing to do."

***

Rex: Dad, is this in real life?

Dad: What?

Rex: I mean, am I having a dream right now, or is this in real life?

***

Rex: Dad, do we have wheels in our brains?

***

(after a discussion where Rex told me the opposites of a few different things) Rex: Dad, I know the opposite of almost everything.

Dad: Really? Then what is the opposite of almost everything?

Rex: (pause) Almost nothing.

***

One morning Macy told Rex that if he didn't hurry and get ready and make his bed, he wouldn't be able to go to school. Rex was fighting back and amping up the drama. Finally, when he failed to accomplish his tasks, Macy told him school wasn't going to happen that day.

He choked back tears and screamed at her: Mom, if you don't let me go to school, then I'll never learn anything, and then I'm going to be STUPID!

***

Lucy: Dad, sometimes, when I'm sad, I miss Tenley.

***

Lucy (singing): "We all live in a Yellow Sumparee . . . "

***

Lucy (singing): "One short day, in the Enimal City" (i.e., 'Emerald' City, from Wicked')

***

Lucy: Hey Dad, did you know I'm good at stabbing people?

***

Rex's prayer last night: Heavenly Father, thank you that we could have a good Remorial Day. Thank you that we could go play at the gym. But it's just a little bit more fun when we get to do Remorial Day at the park in Morgan, so maybe next time you could help it not to rain so we can do that instead."

***

Dad: Rex, did you know we're going to do a talent show with my family? I was thinking that for your talent you could . . .

Rex: Oh yeah, Nate and I already talked about this, and we decided what we want to do.

Dad: ??

Rex: Nate has a light saber like mine and we're going to do a big light saber fight. But I need to tell him we aren't going to stab each other until the end. And maybe we should have only one person die. And maybe . . . (on and on).

***

Dad: Lucy, what are you going to do for your talent at the talent show?

Lucy: I don't know.

Rex: Lucy, me and Nate are going to do a light saber fight.

Lucy: Well I could stab people. I am good at that.

Rex: Yeah, she really is, Dad. She can stab people really good with my light saber.

Lucy: Yeah, I am good at it.

Dad: Hmm.