Happy Birthday, Rex!

Yesterday Rex turned six. Everyone feels bad for him, because they think he'll be forgotten in the Christmas hubbub (is the lateness of this post just proof of that point?). But really, it's the best birthday in the world. Having it this close to Christmas makes it extra special, in my opinion. Every Christmas Eve we wake up with holidays and festivities on our mind, but the first and most obvious target of such feelings is Rex.

There's also something special about being born on Christmas Eve, at least in my mind. Maybe it's just that Rex was our first kid, but I remember that day like it was yesterday. The most wonderful Christmas possible. People stopping by to see him on Christmas, driving our new born baby home in a perfect Christmas snow storm. I even remember laying the little pink bundle next to the Christmas tree and watching him squirm and squint at the lights. I will never forget what the world was like that day we took Rex home. So even if this birthday is a pain for him, it's at least extra-special to Macy and me.




Rex has been such a great influence on everyone in our family. For me, he's a constant playmate, and also something of conscience, keeping me straight and reminding me when I get surly or lazy or distant. For Macy, he is both a constant help and a constant opportunity to expand- a standing invitation for her to join a boyish activity or have a boyish conversation, something she's never had much of. For Lucy, he may be the biggest star in her life. She loves to play with him, loves to tell us of the nice things he does for her, and loves (LOVES!) to laugh with him. And for Molly, he's the most helpful and considerate brother possible. He is so good at caring for her-panicking when she may be eating a foreign object, and pulling her off things and dragging her to us when she's in trouble.

The only bad thing about Rex: he's growing up. Six is different from five, and certainly from four and from three. He doesn't lay under the Christmas tree and squint at the lights anymore. But he has become a main focal point of our family, greatly beloved by all.


Rex Kwon Do from Ryan on Vimeo.

We couldn't ask for a sweeter kid.

Happy Birthday, Rex. We love you!

And Now for Some Thoughts About the Real Meaning of Christmas

Today we watched the Christmas DVD that the Church sent out a few years ago. What a great film. I love how it focuses not only on Bethlehem, but on the gift given on that day to the Nephites as well. That story has always touched me. It made me think of an old blog post I wrote partially on that subject. Because this encapsulates much of what I'm feeling lately in relation to the beauty of Christmas, I thought I'd reprint, just as an expression of how I feel the Savior's love each year at this time. This may be a little more touchy-feely than we usually get on this blog, but, you know . . . 'tis the season.

A Stable, a Garden, a Grove: How Jesus Never Stops Saving

Feb. 2, 2005

Have you ever pondered what it means to be a Savior? It's always interesting to me to consider the burdens Jesus carries, as the single person responsible for the eternal happiness of all of mankind. True, He's already accomplished the lion's share of his duties, but much remains to be done. As my personal Savior, he remains committed to comfort me, heal me, and walk me through my life to the point where He can officially accept me as his and deliver the promised salvation. Repeat steps one through three many billion times. That's what it means to be The Savior.

Still, there's little doubt that the Anointed One is up to the task. However daunting it is to us, or may even be to Him, he never fails to save. In fact, reviewing his three most important earthly appearances confirms just that-- that there's something about Jesus' perfection and mission that not only seeks our salvation, but can do nothing besides seek our salvation. Observing the pattern set by these three events, it almost looks like he simply can't resist doing saving work.

First, Jesus' birth. What was accomplished in the big picture? The earth received its savior, announced by angels, proclaimed by prophets, and received by a virgin mother in a historically significant little town. But Jesus never seems to work only on the macro level. What happened on the micro level? Somewhere a continent away, actual lives were saved by his appearance. This subplot of the Christmas story is lost to other Christian denominations, but the larger narrative is weakened without it. I always try to remember during the Christmas season that while Jesus' birth brought a perfect being into the world who would eventually save billions of souls, it also instantly saved the lives of a few hundred believing Nephites. If he hadn't appeared when he did, these people would have been put to death. Jesus saved them from death.

Important Appearance Number Two: Jesus returns to the earth a resurrected being. This event was first witnessed by a woman named Mary, crying in a garden. The historical significance pushes the viewer quickly past Mary, to the glory and possibility of Resurrection-- Jesus conquered death! But again, Jesus would never use that moment only to announce something to the world, no matter how glorious the news. He turned his visit into something personally healing for Mary as well-- delivering comfort to a woman in deep emotional pain. While he easily could have appeared anywhere to anyone to make this announcement, Jesus chose to come to the grieving Mary. He saved her from grief.

Finally, another marvelous appearance took place in a grove of trees before another single observer. The macro message of that moment is so large, so important and joyful, that we can't seem to comprehend it all. To the world, that encounter in the forest means that truth is restored and Heavenly Power is disseminated among us. But what did it mean to the teenage boy at that instant? Though we often skip past it, recall that the seconds preceding the epiphany must have been among the most painful of Joseph Smith's life. Before there was a pillar of light, there was a prison of darkness, and a terror filled him that he could not easily describe even years later. At that moment, Jesus chose to reveal himself and his gospel, simultaneously robbing the evil one of his prey. Because we know the end of the story so well, we rarely consider what would have become of Joseph if Heaven had not intervened. We can't understand the kind of Hell Joseph suffered. Jesus saved Joseph from Hell.

From death, from grief, and from the devil himself, we are delivered by our Savior's grace. And as we live our lives, deciding every day whether we will have contact with Jesus or not, we decide also whether we'll share in the encounters of the Nephite disciples, Mary in the garden, and Joseph in the grove. It seems that to gain any of these blessings, all we must do is simply come into contact with him. Because the message of each of these three revelations is clear-- whatever else Jesus might be doing at the moment, whether being born, announcing his resurrection, or ushering in a final dispensation for the world, he simply can't seem to resist saving us, individually. Merely be present where he is, and he will halt death, grief, and hell, replacing them with life, happiness, and salvation. He can't resist.

Merry Christmas, everyone. May we all have the Savior's light this Christmas.

Snow Day!!!

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Scenes From a Cozy Christmas

The other day I looked up and realized I was in a picture of Christmastime perfection. Macy had asked me to work at home while she took Rex and Lucy on some errands, and while Molly napped downstairs. I sat in our cozy-as-can-be living room with its perfect, glowing Christmas tree, a fire blazing in the fireplace, a cup of eggnog beside me, a blizzard raging outside, dumping inch after inch of new snow. I couldn't believe how this combination of atmospherics lit up my mood (and I dare say my clients benefited from it for 2.3 very efficient hours that morning).

The Christmas season takes a little while for me to work my way into. It starts with a bang of chaos and bustle right after Thanksgiving, and it seems like every decision has to be made that second, with no time to warm up and think about the good parts of the season. Then, eventually, the pace of shopping and parties slows down and Christmas gets closer. The hustle and craziness gives way to the real pleasures- the egg nog, the blizzard, the fire.


It made me think about how many little things make up this season for me. The week before Thanksgiving I rushed out to buy four packs of Spekulaas- the Dutch spice cookie I fell in love with when my Dad used to bring them home each December. The eggnog appeared in our fridge right after, followed by lessons to the kids on how to sip a drink, instead of gulp it down in one swallow (thus preventing the inevitable instant stomachache). Somebody at work brought a bag of pistachios by, which took me back to the enormous bag we got from Lagoon one December. The other day at the store I suddenly got nostalgic for the fine cheese that Dad received from a client every year. Usually it was a soft havarti. I picked up some Jarlsberg at the store and got Macy to bring home a havarti too a few days later. I don't ever think about stuff like this eleven months out of the year, but then, Dad never got any pistachios in June either.



I understand the real meaning of Christmas, and there's plenty of time and thought left to devote to that. But man, I love this little pocket between the chaos and the culmination, the moment when you actually get to sit for a minute with a mug in your hand and enjoy the bright side of this season. There's really nothing like it.

So what are the little Christmas trappings (and their links to Christmases past?) that make your season bright?

Grandparent's Week at Virginia Tanner Dance School!

Lucy was more than ecstatic to have both of her Grandmas' presence at her dance class a couple of weeks ago. Both were so cute and danced right along with her. We are so lucky to have both be such a great part of our lives here. Here are some pics from their fun dancing day.

Hanging on the Bars

Molly was completely mesmerized by the dancing. She loved it.

Book Recommendations

Winter is the best time for reading together with the kids. Problem is, I have a tough time coming up with the next book as soon as we've put the last one down. Would everyone please weigh in with a few good books to read with the kids? And by the way, we've got thousands of kids' books, so I'm talking about chapter books, the kind you read over several cozy nights together.

As a reminder, we're talking about a six year old boy and four year old girl. They have probably average attention spans and one out with too much dialogue, and focus in when there's animals or fantasy or action. The biggest hits we've had have been Jungle Book and Roald Dahl (James and the Giant Peach especially). Neither really loved Charlotte's Web (and I agree), and Winnie the Pooh seems to bore them (I don't think they've caught on to 'droll' yet).

Anyway, with that in mind, pleeeeeease give me some recommended books to read with these kids. Desperate to come up with a few good ones to get for Christmas.

Thanks!

Rex's Rules

A new sign appeared, unannounced, on the floor of the doorway heading into Rex's room today:


We're taking Lucy to the library tomorrow to check out some books on Rosa Parks.

Meet the RX-7's

The term "RX-7" is a title my family knows well. It's my siblings' pet name for me-- the person deemed to be the most unemotional (unfeeling?), rational (heartless?) and un-dramatic (pitiless?) of the clan. It's meant to suggest that there's something robotic about my way of life (and probably to draw attention away from the fact that it's also the sanest way to live as well). Obviously, I take the title as compliment.1

But there's a deep dark secret in my home. That is that I'm not the only model of RX-bot we have running around here. An illuminating case in point:

Yesterday I was out at lunch with a couple of buddies (Wade and Massey if you must know). As we ruminated on the phenomenon of wedding rings, I took the position that such things are fleeting tokens at best, carrying no inherent significance at all. Wade was a little less sure, arguing a little for the importance of symbols and saying many other things not suited for processing by robotic minds.

To determine the true symbolic value of wedding rings, I proposed a hypothetical experiment. Assume that a man, we'll call him Lucky, was given his wedding ring many years ago at a cost of 200 bucks. That ring became his wedding ring, which he wore for years as the symbol of his union. Also assume that it is perfectly and easily replaceable for the same price today. Now posit a man on the street that approaches Lucky and offers him $400 in exchange for the ring. What should Lucky do? What would you do? What is the price at which you would be willing to sell this important symbol?

I stood firmly on an asking price of $200 profit (i.e., $400 for a ring whose assumed value is $200). Wade and Massey were more reluctant, setting their prices higher. We then attempted to adjust to remove considerations of spousal conflict and input, focusing solely on our own symbolic attachments and commitments. They reduced their prices.2 Still, objections were raised: am I selling my commitment to my wife? Am I signaling a diminishment in the value I place on my marriage? Internal processors buzzed and transponders transponded, and then came the answer: No, you're selling a piece of metal, retard.

So my buddies decided to call my bluff. They said they would send a call out to our friends to raise $400. Did my offer to sell still stand? I hesitated. Given that I live in the real world where spousal conflict may not be adjusted out, I re-computed. Add $50 dollars to the price to compensate for the possibility of one half-hour's conjugal dispute, and it's a deal. They confirmed their intention to put me to this test, to see if I would still think it worth it after I received the tongue-lashing they anticipated.

But I had an ace in the hole: While Macy can match any woman for certain symptoms of feminine . . . (ahem) . . . zest for emotion, she actually lacks the drippy sentimental core sometimes found soggying up the souls of some of her sex.

After the lunch, still a little scared that I might be forced to take the bet and risk a little disharmony at home, I called Macy. After bringing her up to speed on the conversation, I told her my take. "So I said I'd sell my ring in a heartbeat for $250 in profit."

(Pause. Pause becomes pregnant. Pause's fetus gestates uncomfortably.)

"Are you kidding me? I'd sell my ring for a decent profit, on the spot."

(Sound of circuits relaxing, creaking of robotic heart being reminded of initial reasons for attraction)

So it seems my bet was a good one. While I know the above may throw my more sentimental and symbolic-minded relatives into a bit of a panic, you should know that none of the above suggests any weakening of our commitment. What it means is that when given the chance to make a little easy money, pieces of metal are fungible, replaceable, and ultimately meaningless. Such things are shabby proxies for the love that can be shared by two robots, circling each other, Wall-E and Eve-like, through the outer space of life.



Everyone, I'm pleased to introduce you to RX-7.2. She's every bit the robot her husband is, just a little nicer about it.

The author, at home with his wife.

1. Comments attempting apologize for, soften, or in some other way back off of this label will be summarily deleted. We're adults here-- metallic ones at that.

2. As I have not obtained authorization to publish the value that Wade and Bryan place on their own wedding rings, I'll demur. However, I'm not sure if Kerstin and Erin will be overjoyed to hear that their sentimental husbands value their marriage vows at approximately two to four hundred dollars higher than I do.

Girl Weekend

Lucy and Tenley sitting in the carriage at the Childrens Museum

A few months ago I very spontaneously planned a trip out to San Francisco to see my sister Amby, and her two girls. Her husband was out of the country on business, and it was the perfect weekend for Me to bring my two girls out too. We had a blast. I have the fondest memories of the bay area. It is one the places I traveled to probably the very most as a kid for different figure skating competitions almost twice every year, and I always love getting back there. Perfect weather, beautiful scenery, great food, amazing shopping...it is such a charming place. My sisters little home is no exception. She is also the "hostess with the mostess". I mean from her eggs benedict in the morning to whatever scrumptious snack she had for her and I after the kids were in bed she never ceases to amaze. Her house is also the ultimate girl house, being that she only has girls. Lucy was in heaven!!



They have the most amazing childrens museum there. The girls had a blast all day, and the babies actually did too.


Lucy and Tenley did lots of art while we there. Amby always had some great project for them to do. Both are so cute and so spunky.


Molly crawling all over the baby area.




The girls in the dress up section.

Back at home our two boys had quite the Man-a-thon. I mean seriously..they rode their bikes to the REAL Salt Lake game, steak at the Sizz (they know they would never get me there), then off to Lagoon the next day, nerf wars at Grandma and Grandpa's house, and off to Kung Fu Panda with Ike and my mom too. What a life those two had while we were gone. Too bad they didn't take one picture of their big weekend.